episode 19 : white flag??

as james morrison said, 'love is hard'.
as you all know, its true.

things with A sometimes are rough. yeah, all relationships have their ups and downs.
same goes with mine. BUT, the question is,how much longer can i put up with this shit?
its not that im not happy with him. i am!
i know who i want. its him!
i know who i want to be with. its him!

people have their own flaws. and there's no way im not 1 of them.
i try to make myself a better person for you. and still trying..
im not sure whether u noticed it or not.
maybe u do,but choose to not acknowledge it.
or ur just not good in expressing ur appreciation to people.

wtv it is...i dont mind doing anything to keep the relationship going.
but, i could use some appreciation from you.
it kills me everytime knowing,what i did seems not enough to you.
are they really not enough or you just too demanding?
i dont want to play the role of a boyfriend in a relationship.
yes, i know there should be give and take.
i dont want to 'give' all the time. i love to 'take' too..

i know things are hard for you in 'there'..
but darling, things aint easy for me out here too..
i'm always here for you.
and i know, u'll be there when i need you but, will you always be there??


p/s : am i seeing myself raising a white flag in this silent 'war'?
does it worth the consequences?
too much ques, barely have an answer to each of them.
1 thing for sure. i really love you.


love,
Z.
-begging u to understand.-

episode 18 : updates

its been a while..
and a lot happened.

for a start, i managed to finish up ' The Thousand Splendid Suns'. quite an accomplishment i supposed. glad i could make it. ;)
now moving on to 'The Wedding' by Nicholas Sparks who is also an author for 'The Notebook' and 'Walk To Remember'. i think..huhu
and also 'A Place Called Here' by Cecelia Ahern. ever heard of 'P/S I Love You'? She wrote that.



next, cant contact my dear darling anymore. the fone been crushed to bits and pieces by fucking stupid people. so im left alone. n i really really miss him now..
why he has to be so far away from me? this relationship been testing me ever since it started.
is the love worth it all..worth the wait..worth the hardship.
is there any true love at all?? i wonder....

then, studies.
next week gonna be cramped up with heaps of project works..paper works..presentation..tests and quizzes.. now i really think that 24hours a day is never enough.
can u please make it 48 hours a day,O'God?
huhuh.. still wonder would that be enough or later would be too long for a day..
*sigh* humans never have enough..do we?? ;p

ouh lastly..
painfully, there's been a wild gossip spreading around the cycle of friends in puncak.
its not like i've never been gossiped before.. just this time i think they went overboard!
1st of all, thank you for making me the center of your conversation.. thank you for all your concerns about me. I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH GUYS! -rolled eyes-
yes i know, people talk and there's nothing we can do about it because realised it or not, we might have done the same to others even to our close friends, right?? haha..

anyway, lets look ahead and pray for a better and brighter day.
those are just the bitter sweet of life which would taught and made us more matured in leading a life. ;D


p/s : last 4th Sept 09, is our 2nd monthsary! happy 2months darling!
love you! <3


love,
z.
-ramadhan.cant wait for eidulfitri-