episode 19 : white flag??

as james morrison said, 'love is hard'.
as you all know, its true.

things with A sometimes are rough. yeah, all relationships have their ups and downs.
same goes with mine. BUT, the question is,how much longer can i put up with this shit?
its not that im not happy with him. i am!
i know who i want. its him!
i know who i want to be with. its him!

people have their own flaws. and there's no way im not 1 of them.
i try to make myself a better person for you. and still trying..
im not sure whether u noticed it or not.
maybe u do,but choose to not acknowledge it.
or ur just not good in expressing ur appreciation to people.

wtv it is...i dont mind doing anything to keep the relationship going.
but, i could use some appreciation from you.
it kills me everytime knowing,what i did seems not enough to you.
are they really not enough or you just too demanding?
i dont want to play the role of a boyfriend in a relationship.
yes, i know there should be give and take.
i dont want to 'give' all the time. i love to 'take' too..

i know things are hard for you in 'there'..
but darling, things aint easy for me out here too..
i'm always here for you.
and i know, u'll be there when i need you but, will you always be there??


p/s : am i seeing myself raising a white flag in this silent 'war'?
does it worth the consequences?
too much ques, barely have an answer to each of them.
1 thing for sure. i really love you.


love,
Z.
-begging u to understand.-