episode 21 : end of sem & MatsuJun!!

Umedetto!!!! (congrats in jap)
Banzai!! (hurray in jap)
umedetto n banzai because finally 3rd sem has finished!! :D

exams are pretty tough.. *sigh..
since when exams are easy anyway???
enough said!

my new addiction right now are japanese's soap opera n matsumoto jun!!!!
hikhikhik.

-MatsuJun aka Matsumoto Jun-




matsujun is a member of Arashi, quite popular boyband in japan.
derang nih ala-ala n'sync laa..
hahhaa..

i'll upload one of the arashi's vclip later aite..

love,
Z
-matsumoto-kun, ai shi teru!! -

episode 20 :3months of love.

Its already 3months, im in a relationship with A.
well.. thats 3months of an official relationship.
yang x official i think nearly a year..
huhuh..
cant believe it myself..
though he drove me crazy with his attitude of manje, mengade, sensitive, and all.. he still make me fall for him every time he shows that attitude of protective, super-loving, thoughtful, charismatic, fun, poetic (sometimes) and so much more..
hahhah.. i super-love you, darling!




hate to admit that im in a long distance relationship. used to hate that kind of r/ship..
but im in one now. it is hard. where all you have to keep the relationship are only love and trust.

do i trust him? yes.
do i love him? super-yes.

i am sure that he loves me too.. but does he trust me?
that im not 100% sure. *sigh..

well,i cant blame him that much as he's feeling insecure as im freely out here while he's living hell in there. i tried to make him put that sacred trust in me. but due to some unwanted series of events, he has chosen to not put that 100% trust in me.
i understand him. maybe i would do the same if i were in his shoe.

but darling, do know this..
i love you with all of my heart. i am a crazy and wild (sometimes) bitch. but im only doing it because there's so much in life that i dont want to miss and i want to taste every bit of it in my youth years.
above all, i put u on top of everything. i'll make sure, you wont get hurt coz of my doings. i'll make sure, you got my full commitment and love.
oraite darling?
you are my everything in life. could not bear a day without you, starting from hearing you say 'good morning baby' until you put me to sleep with your sweet good night wishes.


i look forward for every 4th day of every month so we can cherish the memorable event that happened on the 4th july.

sayang, i love you with each of my heart beat. i love you from the beginning til the end.
happy 3 months darling. hope your happy with me. : j
mwahhxx..

love,
Z
heart you sayang.

episode 19 : white flag??

as james morrison said, 'love is hard'.
as you all know, its true.

things with A sometimes are rough. yeah, all relationships have their ups and downs.
same goes with mine. BUT, the question is,how much longer can i put up with this shit?
its not that im not happy with him. i am!
i know who i want. its him!
i know who i want to be with. its him!

people have their own flaws. and there's no way im not 1 of them.
i try to make myself a better person for you. and still trying..
im not sure whether u noticed it or not.
maybe u do,but choose to not acknowledge it.
or ur just not good in expressing ur appreciation to people.

wtv it is...i dont mind doing anything to keep the relationship going.
but, i could use some appreciation from you.
it kills me everytime knowing,what i did seems not enough to you.
are they really not enough or you just too demanding?
i dont want to play the role of a boyfriend in a relationship.
yes, i know there should be give and take.
i dont want to 'give' all the time. i love to 'take' too..

i know things are hard for you in 'there'..
but darling, things aint easy for me out here too..
i'm always here for you.
and i know, u'll be there when i need you but, will you always be there??


p/s : am i seeing myself raising a white flag in this silent 'war'?
does it worth the consequences?
too much ques, barely have an answer to each of them.
1 thing for sure. i really love you.


love,
Z.
-begging u to understand.-

episode 18 : updates

its been a while..
and a lot happened.

for a start, i managed to finish up ' The Thousand Splendid Suns'. quite an accomplishment i supposed. glad i could make it. ;)
now moving on to 'The Wedding' by Nicholas Sparks who is also an author for 'The Notebook' and 'Walk To Remember'. i think..huhu
and also 'A Place Called Here' by Cecelia Ahern. ever heard of 'P/S I Love You'? She wrote that.



next, cant contact my dear darling anymore. the fone been crushed to bits and pieces by fucking stupid people. so im left alone. n i really really miss him now..
why he has to be so far away from me? this relationship been testing me ever since it started.
is the love worth it all..worth the wait..worth the hardship.
is there any true love at all?? i wonder....

then, studies.
next week gonna be cramped up with heaps of project works..paper works..presentation..tests and quizzes.. now i really think that 24hours a day is never enough.
can u please make it 48 hours a day,O'God?
huhuh.. still wonder would that be enough or later would be too long for a day..
*sigh* humans never have enough..do we?? ;p

ouh lastly..
painfully, there's been a wild gossip spreading around the cycle of friends in puncak.
its not like i've never been gossiped before.. just this time i think they went overboard!
1st of all, thank you for making me the center of your conversation.. thank you for all your concerns about me. I APPRECIATE IT SO MUCH GUYS! -rolled eyes-
yes i know, people talk and there's nothing we can do about it because realised it or not, we might have done the same to others even to our close friends, right?? haha..

anyway, lets look ahead and pray for a better and brighter day.
those are just the bitter sweet of life which would taught and made us more matured in leading a life. ;D


p/s : last 4th Sept 09, is our 2nd monthsary! happy 2months darling!
love you! <3


love,
z.
-ramadhan.cant wait for eidulfitri-

episode 17 : Ramadhan! 0: )

time really flies..
and now its ramadhan.
not to forget, exams are on this week too..
haih..

hate exams..as if nobody dont..
hehe...

for this ramadhan..saya berazam untuk finish up reading a book lend to me..
this is a BIG task for me..as i dont read novels that much..
TETAPI..walaubagaimanapun -ceyhh-
saya akan berjaya juga..no matter how long it takes! ahahhaha

ouh..just for the record..
Mum bought me a new elle shades..
hahhaha..
sangat baik hati yer maa..
thank you anyway..
jasamu akan ku kenang jua..
:-D


p/s : sepatut nya ramadhan nih berazam la nak wat amal jariah sket..
nih, berazam nk bace buku jer..
hehehe.. =p


love,
Z
-happy ramadhan!-